Dave suffered with huge frustration as a child, in a world that didn’t understand him and couldn’t or wouldn’t accommodate him. Very occasionally his pent up frustration hit record levels and he would resort to banging the side of his head repeatedly against the wall,  or slapping the side of his face with a hand balled into a tight fist. Only able to express that level of frustration and rage by physically turning on and attacking himself. 
 
Once he expressed his sadness and despair by ceremoniously piling all  his prized possessions on the stair landing outside his room. Choking on his tears, insisting in a sobbing voice, that he no longer wanted his teas maid, his money box,  the Dr Who memorabilia. Everything he loved and cared about discarded there on the stairs. 
 
 Dave was treated as “other” as different and was systemically set apart by the 1960’s society into which he was born. The Local playgroup in Cannington village wouldn’t let him attend.   For a while he wasn't able to go to school.  He was considered sub-normal and in-educable (those are the word used by the medics at the time to describe him, they are not mine) 


When Dave was around 7 years of age. It was suggested to Madeleine (his Mum) that she might like to put him into a Hospital where they had a school for children like him. Madeleine refused this suggestion she “Gave Dave up” in her words “I knew he was settled at home and wouldn’t have been happy”  
 
In the 1960’s and 70’s Parents were actively encouraging to hand their disabled kids over and to hide them away from the rest of society.  It was accepted practice. Madeleine was later to work in the hospital and see the school and what she had saved him from first hand. It has changed now, but back in the 1970’s was more of a holding space,  than a school where special needs children were taught anything.  His eventual school years at Penrose are detailed by both Stuart Dove and Bruce  who was his teacher. 
 
 With his love of routine and ritual and autistic traits Dave could so easily have been institutionalised. Peter who Dave lived with in the Blue house as part of  “shared lives” spent his childhood raised in a hospital rather than a family setting. 
 
 There seems to be a common thread when talking to people who knew him well, since his death. that “Dave led a good life” It is said as  a matter of fact observation. In the words of Jon Shirley his key worker for around 20 years:  “Anyonewho judged that dave was restricted in his lifestyle and interests didn’t know him” Jon who was with Dave 5 days a week, and knew him better than most.
 
By remaining in the family setting Dave fundamentally altered the trajectory of his parents lives. Stuart Dove pointed out that Madeleine would not have become a psychologist if it hadn’t been for her desire to understand and help her son, and Peter would not have re-trained as a social worker.  Dave allowed me to see first hand the false notion that society is a meritocracy, offering the same opportunities to everyone. There is no level playing field, everyone is differently-abled.